haay

here i am, in the dark once again.. here in my room.. void of any light except for the light that this laptop emits. im listening to some classical music that's playing on the radio. not many knows i listen to classical music, most specially, piano pieces.. well, i do.. probably because of the influence my father had over me.

these past days were somewhat surreal.. i actually enjoyed staying inside my room.. in total darkness and solitude. this had me thinking of things.. of people.. marami akong naaalala.. friends from the past..wonder how they're doing now. then mga kaibigan kong nag ibang bansa na.. like jannah (ungas! miss narin kita! hehe.. if you're reading this, salamat sa testi.. haha!) i also miss people i hated.. people who broke my heart at nag ibang bansa narin! (if you're reading this too, fuck you!jk! haha.. peace na tayo eh =p)

but from all the people i miss, there's someone who stands out the most. for some reason, she's all i think about these past days.. dunno why. tagal ko na nga siyang hindi nakikita at nakakausap eh. whenever i try harder not to think of her, the more i think about her..! kumain na ba siya? sana nagpapahinga siya kasi lagi nalang siyang nagpapagod. ok na ba siya? sana nagpapakasaya rin siya kasi parang napaka seryoso niya na sa buhay. maraming tanong eh. i wonder how she's doing these days.. i hope she's doing great.. i hope she's having the time of her life.. :)

know what? i'm starting to hate myself for thinking this much about her.. does she even know that i care for her this much? probably not.. and probably won't. but i'll continue praying for her as i've did oh so dearly before. she's a very dear friend and i wish her all the best that life can offer.. i swear i'm becoming weaker and weaker with each new day tapos siya pa lagi ang nasa isip ko.. kainiz..