irked

I couldn't believe I'm blogging this down in the wee hours of the morning. It's just that I remembered someone I really hate! Somewhat that I almost forgotten, but keeps hanging by in my mind like a shit in a bowl that just won't flush!

It's just that something triggered this memory that always leaves me really angry, sometimes even unconsciously. Basta yung nag-trigger ngayon, mababaw lang (and actually, it gets triggered a lot before in many different ways). This time, it was about Wrestler... that Facebook application that I play in my free time. Haha!

It was just me and Dale talking about a certain group of wrestlers which I'm pissed at because they didn't give me a chance to compete for some ranking match. Dale, in his ever playful mood, posted what I shared to him on the public wall where all those frenemies can see. So I told Dale to take it down, which he didn't complied at first...

Tic! Tac! It triggered!

My long time irkness triggered and I remembered this fool who I once called friend during my high school days. Let's call this fool, ASSHOLE.

ASSHOLE was a friend from way back. I used to tell her things that I don't really tell others. Then one time, nalaman ko nalang na she was telling things to others. And when I confronted her about it, she told me na I was being plastic and that I should admit that I really said those things.

Eh siyempre, kaya nga secrets--sinasabi mo lang yung mga yun sa mga taong pinagkakatiwalaan diba? And ASSHOLE was the type who says: "Oo, sa atin lang ito.. etc".

But it also turns out that ASSHOLE mixed the truths with 'half-truths', then some with COMPLETE LIES!

I lost a lot because of ASSHOLE-- a few friends, my good reputation... I was pissed!

So from then on, I condemned ASSHOLE. Never was she in my vocabulary again. After a while, I also lost contact with some of the people from our circle of friends. I only retained a few... but we seldom even talk with each other now (pero in good ways naman kami).

So the backlash of ASSHOLE'S antics left me a big scar. I rarely trust and open up to people now. And I try to bury ASSHOLE deep inside my consciousness.

But like I said, she's like the shit that gets stuck in the toilet. Messy, irritating, and completely annoying.

And I think these are some of the things that kinda push my buttons, the type that unconsciously brings back ASSHOLE and her antics:

1. When someone threatens me to tell things about me. Even pa-joke (like I've said, some times I get affected unconsciously just because of the trauma that ASSHOLE did.)

2. Using my name to others.. like "Oy, sabi ni Fil sa ganito nalang magkita instead na sa ganito", even if I didn't... like the person said that kasi mas maganda para sa kanya, but uses my name instead of his/hers. I hate this because it usually put me in bad light. Kumbaga reputation ko yun.. why are you banking on my reputation when you could use yours.. ako yung nasisira eh.

3. I'm still unconscious about how the other situations trigger the "ASSHOLE irksomeness", but I'm pretty sure that there are some other peeves.

And I hate it when it happens. I hate it because I remember ASSHOLE. Kumbaga may scar na talaga. And back to Dale's playful joke kanina, wala talaga yun. Nakakahiya nga kay nigga kasi akalain niyang napikon ako ng ganoong kababaw na reason.

Pero like I've said, I hate those situations because it brings back ASSHOLE. In short, its just between ASSHOLE and me.

And that made me wonder, HOW is ASSHOLE doing nowadays?! Haha! Kulamin ko kaya!? Hahahaha! joke.

--Reading about this, yeah.. I am a psycho. Marami akong suppressed memories. So watch out! There's more to me than you think! Hahaha! jk lang! ;)