HATE BLOG: Vol. STUPID Incompetent Trinoma Parking Lot Guards

Yes, this is a hate post. Just wanted to share this because I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW! I just got home from Trinoma, and I have a goddamn story to tell... like how stupid some people are! This story involves a dead car battery, asking help from stupid people, and false hope!

So read up! (Or don't. I just wrote this to vent out my frustrations.)



I went to Trinoma this afternoon to accompany my ate. So there, we got to the rooftop parking lot, parked the car, then went inside the mall. After a few hours of eating, shopping, window shopping... we finally decided to go home.

So back in the parking lot, I opened the car and we went in (DUH! ;p). I proceeded to start the engine. Then... nothing. The FREAKING car won't start! I tried again a number of times but.... it. just. won't. start.

THE BATTERY IS DEAD!

I checked the head lights switch if I forgot to turn it off. It was off! So I have no idea why my car battery ran out! (Until now, I don't know why... my suspicion is a faulty alternator)

Then, I decided to get help from the roaming parking lot security guard.

***Guard 1 because there are multiple guards involved in this story

Me: Boss, pwedeng patulong. Namatay yung baterya ng auto ko.
Guard 1: May onti pa bang baterya ser? Baka pwede pa ma-kadyot yan (jumpstart)!
Me: (Checks again) Wala na talaga eh. Empty!
Guard 1: Ah, baka kelangan na natin i-series yan!
Me: Onga eh! May pang series ba kayo kuya?

Guard 1 proceeds to radio his co-guards in his walkie talkie. After a while, the other 2 guards arrived. So there's three of them now.

Right this time, I was so relieved! I was thanking the heavens. I thought: "Wow, marami talagang mabait na taong handang tumulong!" I was even getting money from my wallet kasi balak ko silang abutan!

Sad to say, my good vibes won't last long...

Guard 2: Ser, try natin i-kadyot. Baka pwede pa yan!
Me: (Tangina neto, kita na ngang EMPTY as in EMPTY na talaga) Cge, try natin!
Guard 3: Sige ser, ilagay mo sa segunda (2nd gear)! Tapos isabay mo yung bitaw ng clutch sa pag start ng makina.
Me: (Tangeks! Marunong ako kumadyot!) OK! :)

After three kadyots, wala talaga!

Guard 1: Guard 2, ikaw nga! Baka mapagana mo!
Me: (Loko 'to ah!) Cge kuya, try mo!

Guard 2 proceeds to take the wheel, and I went to push.

WALA! Palpak rin!

Guard 1: Ser, itabi nalang muna natin dun! Series nalang talaga siguro.
Me: Ok!

After parking my car (via pushing), Guard 1 told me that makikisuyo nalang kami sa ibang drivers dito sa parking lot para maki-series sa baterya nila! (Series in layman's term is connecting your battery to another car's battery via cables.)

Me: Kuya, may pang-series ba kayo?
Guard 1: Meron.
Me: Asan na?
Guard 1: Andun sa kasama ko!

Right now, the other 2 guards are out of sight. As far as I know, they were looking for "tambay" drivers so they can ask kung papayag maki-series.

Suddenly, a woman driver with her family went inside their car which is right in front of us.

Me: Ma'am, pwede po maki-suyo? Namatayan po ako ng baterya, pwede po bang maki-series sa inyo?"
Misis: Ah.. eh.. sorry ah. May mga kasama akong bata, nagmamadali kami!
Me: (Taena.. well, fair enough.. fair enough.. nakikiusap lang naman ako.) Ok, thanks nalang po! :)

Guard 1 arrived again.

Guard 1: Lahat nagmamadali eh... (referring to the other drivers)
Me: Onga eh.

Guard 1, who looks like he wants to go home na, then told me.
"Ser, makisuyo nalang kayo sa ibang drivers!"

Me: Yun na nga talaga.. pero may pang series kayo ah!? (Ayan at di-nouble check ko talaga sa kanya)
Guard 1: Meron. Andun nga sa kasama ko. Kelangan mo lang talaga makisuyo sa ibang kotse!
Me: Ok.
Guard 1: Pag nakahanap na kayo, sabihin mo lang sa guard dun sa may toll booth! (Lets name this guard, the Appointed Guard)
Me: (Taena neto, san ka pupunta!?) Ok, basta alam niya ah!
Guard 1: Oo.

Guard 1 then leaves. All the while, I thought rumonda lang siya sa parking lot kasi trabaho niya yun! Ayoko naman bungangaan or kulitin kasi utang ng loob ko na nga ito sa kanya eh.

After a while, still no good samaritan. My sister, who was getting more impatient by the minute, blurted out: "Eh kung iwanan nalang natin ito... tapos balikan tomorrow para si Mang Boy (my mom's office driver) na ang umayos!?"

Me: Eh, mahirap na yun... unang una, papayagan bang iwanan itong kotse dito? Baka mamya eh i-tow itong kotse kung saan tapos malaking multa!
Ate: Ako kakausap sa guard! (Proceeds to the Appointed Guard)

Ate: Manong, pwede po bang iwan nalang namin tapos babalikan tomorrow!?
Appointed Guard: Pero mam, kelangan i-series yan.
Ate: (in a furious tone) Alam ko! Eh anong gusto mong gawin namin!? Mag antay ng siyam siyam!?!?!?!?
AG: Okay, pwede naman po. Pero overnight stay yung babayaran niyo.
Ate: Cge.

While my sister is walking back to me, I saw a red pick up at the distance... and there is a driver inside! I decided to approach it as a LAST CHANCE! Let's name this guy, the GOOD SAMARITAN!

Me: Ser, pwede po maki-suyo!? Namatayan po kasi ako ng baterya. Kung pwede lang po sana, maki-series sa baterya niyo.
Good Samaritan: (With a face like: What the fuck!?) Huh, ah.. saan ba yung kotse mo? Ililipat ko dun yung kotse ko!? Ummmm... ahhh... Ah.. o cge na nga.

YEHEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

During this time, hiyang hiya ako. Nakakahiya kasi dun sa manong. He was just waiting for his companions kasi which could arrive anytime now.

He then moved his car beside mine.

Good Samaritan: Ay, ang layo pala nung baterya mo. Mahaba ba yung pang series mo!?

This reminded me, I need to go to the Appointed Guard to finally get the wires.

Me: Ah, teka lang po ser. Kunin ko lang po yung wire dun sa guard. Pasensya na po talaga.
GS: Okay.

I went to the Appointed Guard.

Me: Boss, nakahanap na ako ng mag se-series! Nasan na yung pang-series!?
A. Guard: Huh!? Ah... teka.. (He then contacts someone from his walkie talkie)

After a while, wala pa rin.. he keeps talking to someone on his walkie talkie. Eh nahihiya na ako dun sa Good Samaritan kasi antagal nung wires, and anytime now, baka dumating na yung mga kasama niya (its 10pm).

Me: Boss, ano na!?
A. Guard: Ah ser, kinokontak ko pa!
Me: Tae! Akala ko naka ready na yung wires! Eh sabi nung kasamahan (guard 1) dito kanina, ikaw yung lalapitan ko!
A. Guard: Ay, Wala akong alam diyan!!!
Me: (PUTANG INA!?!?!?!!!!!) Ano!? Eh nasan ba yung guard kanina?!
A. Guard: Nag call back na sila!
Me: Anong call back!?!?!?!
A. Guard: Tapos na shift nila!
Me: Ano!?!? Eh diba sayo ibinilin yung pang series!?
A. Guard: Eh eto nga, kinokontak ko yung HQ! Andun yung mga yun!
Me: (TANGINA TANGINA TANGINA!) O ano na!?
A. Guard: Eh, ala pa raw eh!

Tapos eto pa nag dagdag sa init ng ulo ko.

A. Guard: Eh dati, yung ako naka destino diyan, ang daming pang series... dalawa dalawa pa!
Me: (TANGINA MO! Bumibida ka pa! Eh parehas kayong mga TANGA!) Oh, bakit kahit isa wala ngayon!?
A. Guard: Aba, ewan ko sa kanila ser! Ang labo nila eh! Wala akong kaalam alam dito.
Me: (Wow, tangina mo! Parehas kayong malalabo! Tama ka, wala ka talagang alam!)

At eto pa!

A. Guard: Ganito nalang ser! Puntahan mo sa HQ! Diyan sa baba! Tiyak, mapapagalitan yung mga yun!!!

Tangina neto, ginawa pa akong paraan para mapagalitan yung mga kasamahan niyang mga gunggong... imbis na asikasuhin nalang yung pang series! Pati hello!?!?! Nasa rooftop tayo, tapos pabababain mo ako sa HQ first floor para "i-choochoo" yung mga kapwa mong gunggong!?!

Punong puno na ako by this time.

Me: Tangina, iiwan ko nalang! Babalikan ko nalang bukas! Leche. (no censorship! he deserved it anyways... and if his compadres were there too, I'd probably cursed their asses out worst!)
A. Guard: Kayo bahala ser!
Me: (Gago!)

I approached manong Good Samaritan na naperwisyo ko at pinag antay sa wala.

Me: Ser, sorry po talaga sa abala. Thank you nalang po! Mga tanga po yung mga guards dito! Wala palang pang-series... sabi sakin kanina meron daw sila! Pasensya na po!
GS: Ah, okay. Anong gagawin mo nalang?
Me: Iiwan ko nalang po. Balikan ko nalang bukas.

We then went home. Napagastos pa ako sa taxi o diba?! Tangina talaga. Tapos magbabayad pa ako bukas ng Overnight Fee o diba!? Tangina talaga!

The moral lesson here!? There is no moral lesson! Sadyang may mga tangang tao lang talaga! Akala mo tutulong na, pero palpak talaga. Iiwanan ka lang talaga sa ere. Sinigurado ka na, hindi pala sigurado!

Pasalamat nalang talaga sila na hindi ako yung tipong tao na pag naagrabiyado, inerereklamo sila para maparusahan! Kung bukas, palpak pa rin pag balik ko... tangina nila, magkakaalaman na!